Discount for American Servicemembers:
The Union Square Lamp Company wants to thank the active, veteran, retired & reservist personnel of our brave US Armed Forces for their service to our country. We are proud to support them in leading a healthy lifestyle and enjoying our quality Smoking Lamps.
Therefore, we invite all current and former servicemembers to use the code ANCHORSAWAY for 20% off everything at our store.
Surcharge for Enemies of America:
However, the Union Square Lamp Company also wants to formally disparage the enemies of America, too. Therefore, we ask anyone who has taken up arms against our brave US Armed Forces to go fuck themselves and pay extra for our quality Smoking Lamps.
Thus, enemies of America must use the code GOTALIBAN to pay an additional 20% for everything.
Who is Eligible for the American Servicemembers' Discount?
Who is eligible for the Servicemembers’ discount? Anyone who has served honorably aboard the USS DD-214.
Who is Eligible for the American Enemies' Surcharge?
Who is eligible for the Enemies of America Surplus? This offer is mandatory for any member of the Taliban, the Nazi Party, the Viet Cong, Al-Qaeda, ISIS, or those who attempted to overthrow the US Capitol on Jan. 6th, 2021. Consumers who have a Master’s Degree in Business Administration are highly eligible as well.
How do I get Verified?
The Union Square Lamp Company uses the Honor System to guide all of our business transactions, and thus we trust that no one who is ineligible will use this discount (lest they be federally prosecuted under the Stolen Valor Act of 2005)
I Want to Use the Discount, but haven't Served in the Military; What Should I do?
Try this:
Learn more about Smoking Lamps and Naval Traditions
