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For tobacco use only

Lucernae Esto Fumandae

Born from the heart of New York City

Our journey began in 1881

Orphaned at birth in New York City, young Josiah was raised by the itinerant merchants, performers, and vagrants who occupied Union Square Park in the mid-1800s.

Although Josiah could not afford any of the exotic smoking lamps he had seen in store windows, he was able to scrounge materials from dumpsters and alleyways to make his very own. Young Josiah’s resourcefulness paid off; the unique design of his Original Smoking Lamp was better than anything people had tried before, and at a fraction of the cost!

A beacon of light in a shadowy world

People love smoking lamps

Soon, customers across America were were traveling to Union Square just to buy a lamp from Josiah. Wealthy beyond his wildest dreams, Josiah moved out of the gutters and into a tasteful 2-bedroom in the Village.

The lamplighting culture that Josiah had birthed from his own loins in Union Square would outlive him as does any child its parent. New York City became known as the City of Lights in no small part to Josiah’s inventions; many historians even say that the French government had separately dedicated the torch of the Statue of Liberty to Josiah himself.

Like the Phoenix of legend

The Union Square Lamp Company Reborn

After Josiah Lamp died of the syphilis from his favorite Cincinnati prostitute, his few legitimate heirs squabbled relentlessly over his vast fortune. The Union Square Lamp Company itself fell swiftly into ruin, as Josiah’s family neglected the True Spirit of the Smoking Lamp and turned to the false prophet of crass capitalism.

However, the once mighty Lamp Factory on 14th Street had been overrun by all sorts of vermin (mostly C.H.U.D.s) for almost a century by the time the legal disputes had been finally settled. None of the original heirs remained, nor even their heirs, but through a free trial version of the descendants of that Cincinnati prostitute were tracked down and given the keys to the famed but decrepit Lamp Factory.

Determined to restore its rightful glory, the Union Square Lamp Company has revived the method that Josiah originally used to craft the finest Smoking Lamps in the world. With innovation driven by heritage, you can see why our Lamps have been the best for over 150 years.

Our incredible team is here for you

Josiah's Ghost

"Anything's a dildo if you're brave enough"

Bjorn Gunnarson

Head of Design
"I'm not saying you're cool if you smoke lamps, but if you don't, then you probably aren't"

Charlotte Banks

Research & Development
"Where did I leave my glass of water?"

Sam Gallagher

Customer Support
"Ass is the new pussy"
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